What would you do?

I did not know that someone I once felt for, would kill me. Maybe it was me that killed me. The way I ignored him, or pretended he wasn't even there. But what can you do when you see someone else. When someone else comes along unexpected. What do you do, what can you do?


I think I met him in seventh grade. Even then he had all the girls towering over him.
I was the new girl there. And he asked me out straight away. We have been going at it since then. Since I been with him, everyone just sees it s normal, comfortable for them. Perfect.

His name is Mike. He has blond brown hair. He stands about 6'0" when not slouched. He is a bit of a bum at times. He always says that he doesn't have to put gel in his hair or wear jeans all the time. Sometimes though he gets carried away with slacking.
The first time I kissed Mike, I remember it was really aggressive. Actually it was a bit uncomfortable. I leaned in for the kiss and I missed because he nudged off a little, and I kissed his ear. A bit embarrassing.
Despite all the little flaws I see sometimes, I love him. He is after all perfect....

"Hey Leah..," he pronounced so vividly. I looked at him from the stairs to our dorm. I yelled in argumentative manner,"What is it already?!"
He looked at me, with his hands in cross position, "Just get over here." I give a sigh, like I just felt like I wanted the day to be over,"Okay, I am coming." As I wonder to him, he starts to do a fast motion up the stairs as I slowly abid down. He tells me that I need to look happier sometimes. My mind was wondering to the window above the railing we were on. I could feel his stare in my eyes. I then gave him a glance, "Mike, I want to sleep, okay."
"Lay...no, I want you to get on a fancy dress and meet me in the car so we can get something to eat. Maybe you will feel more relaxed. Mr. Winns said that finals were not till a week from now."
I then plastered my head down to my backpack. I felt and looked at the many books I had on my limber shoulders. I was weak and tired. I had been studying for the finals in my English class for days. I just wanted rest, was all. But then I looked at him,"Mike don't look at me like that...it just makes me feel sorry for you." He puppy dogged his simple low voice and said, "Well, I miss you Leah, your always so down." I then slowly brightened up with a fake smile, "Okay babe, I will wear something semi nice, and do my hair for once." He then gave me a huge bear hug, "Babe, take a shower to." He just snook that in there like a spud potato, with his corky upside down smile. I smiled with a "nerrr" smile. Then I told him I would call him when I was done getting ready.
I flimmed though my closet, shared with my roommate. She was an absolute neat freak. So I could definitely tell who's clothes were who's. We both wore a one, but my clothes looked more like a none. They were all on the floor of the closet. Wrinkled and sort of smelly. Don't get me wrong though, I am neat to(she sighly confesses). I just have been so blah, the past few days.

When I got done in the bathroom. Before I walked out of it, I saw her. I saw the girl that wasn't so smelly and yucky. She looked beautiful staring back at me in the mirror. Her hair curled in untwining brown Burgundy locks. I liked the way I looked, with my red dress. My only red dress. I then realized I was spending was to much admiring my reflection. I strapped on my tiny buckles of black bitty shoes. And tussled off lightly down the dormitories steps. Feeling finally good about myself.


It has been a few weeks. Yep, I passed my finals with flying colors. Me and Mike have been doing great. I make sure I pay more attention to him. We have been going out to the movies and doing so many fun things together. On night he even to me to this opera house. It was so amazing. I am going to see him right now, lets not trip though. I have these two inch heels, and they are not doing me so well. I hear his voice in the short distance, "Mike, why are you wearing a red jacket?" He just looks back in sarcastic manner, pretending he could not hear me,"Well, ummm, a man can wear a red dress to once and a while." I just was dumbified by his response.
"Well you know, I could wear a rainbow dress." He looks at me, and just stared,"No you wont silly." I look at him as we get near, and I hover under his chin, "Babe, I love you." He brushed my curly locks back, "I love you to hun."


A new test is coming up, and I find I am going into my old habits. I am not seeing how low I am getting. I am staying up all night reading how to metamorphose mathematical symbols. I am ignoring him. Worst of all, I have not thoroughly cleansed in a week. Ewww.
I see Mike, and how he just looks so sad that I am not seeing him anymore. He is not so into school as I am. He does not read as much as I do. He usually goes at it on a limb. And for the most part, he always gets by. But with me, I have to work at it. Don't ask why it has to be like this. I guess it is a thing that happens in girls. We are stuck to work harder then guys. What a load of crap that is.

I decided to go to the library today. I needed a book on science and maybe English, both I guess. To much to get. I had like one..two...three...man, like four tests to do in a few weeks.
I went to the science section, and started to look around. I had not idea what I was looking for besides, what my teacher asked. Where was that though. I will be in here all day just looking for the dang book.
When I finally find it, I exasperated over, like,"Hallalooya...science!!!" Then as the books flew up in the air, my hair and whole clumsy self did to. All of my miscellaneous books were lying on the floor. I never rally noticed till then, how dirty the library floor was. I looked up from what caused this reaction, "Sorry, I did not see you there."
This 5'6", glasses, smelly clothes like I, and messy light brown hair as well, looked at me. He stuttered a bit, "Oh...this is my fault...I did not mean to run into you...so sorry." I looked at him wondering why he was stuttering with me. "Why are you stuttering?" He then blushed a deep red on his white pale skin. "I am sorry, I should be...ummm...going." He then gathers my books and hands them to me. "I did not mean anything by it, it's just you seem different, well like me."

As he was walking away quietly, he says,"Your so beautiful, that's all." I then giggle erratically. I noticed the books he was holding. The same books as I had practically. "You are so sweet, do you mind me asking, are you in college as well?" He looked at me blankly.."Yeah, I am studying for testing." I had a joyful expression, "I am too, maybe we can study, want to?"
I thought to myself "I needed a buddy, to stay alive in studying so hard. Coffee just ain't doing it."

Brandon is his name. He lived in Connecticut before moving to New York. He is out here by himself. Living on his saved up tuition money. He has gotten one B+ since high school. He has only but one friend, his mom. I don't know what it is about him, maybe the way he tilts his glasses while listening to me. When he takes both his hands and smoothes out his brown full head of hair while looking at me. Or maybe it is his green brown eyes that turn green when the sun from the library window hits his direction. He is so interesting. He wears these big comfy shirts with two buttons up top. Blue worn pants and white plain sneaks. He is more normal then you can ever get. I don't know how to tell him he interests me so much. As he tells me how to format equations, and completes quotes. He is so smart. The way he talks to me....he uses a soft gentle voice, like he feels if he over bares his voice it will break me. I think...I think I like him.

"Leah...leah...leah?" Ii questionably pass my look past his face, and I stop dazing at his fingers as they slowly develop the problems on paper like a dance. "Yeah, sorry." He admits his question, "I think we need to go back to the dorms now Leah." I look at my watch, "Oh my goodness, your right." I close the books in front of me and start to pack my things.
As I was reaching to pick up my pencils, my spine tingles with my hand. I look at him, as his hand was touching mine. He looks up and blushes, "Sorry Leah...just ummm...packing up." I felt so much emotion as he touched me on my hand. I never felt like that before. Not ever.
"No, it's okay." I move my hand towards his, as it was still planted on the desk. He then realized what I was doing. He moved forward with his hand gesture, he then held mine in gentle pleasing ways. He looked at me, as my eyes were focused on our hands. He said, "Leah...you have a boyfriend." I moved back, and said, "I do, and I have to go, sorry." The silent footsteps of me and him walking in boomerang motion was uncanny. I felt attached to him already. I can't though. I love Mike, end of story.


Mike came up to me as Ii was on my bed with my legs kicked up in twidder of what I was reading. My brow lines showed as I was intensely deep in my reading. He slammed the door, and my whole body jolted off the page. "What Mike!" He looked at me with an angry stature, "Leah, we need to talk." I peared back down in my book, "No, I am studying, maybe later." He abided towards me, "Leah close that book, and look at me." I then looked at him, and I saw a different person. I did not see Mike anymore. He looked at me like I killed all humanity or something. He sat down on the bed next to my twiddered legs back and forth. "Leah, you need to be with me sometimes. I never see you, you are always at the library, doing god knows what." I then sat up in angry motion, "What...what on earth would I be doing? Making a boat to fly to the never ending story? Mike, I am getting ready for tests. What are you doing?" He then got back up and gave me a disappointed face and left the room. When he left through the door he said in echo, "I love you still Leah." I did not know what he was talking about, but I ignored his little argumentative conversion. I went on with reading, thinking about someones hand.

I ran out my car, trying not to get my books wet, and make it inside the Library. Barely getting drenched.
When I got inside I saw him already sitting at the table in the back, by of course, science section. I go over to him in blissful light steps and sit down next to him. He looks up at me, and tilts his glasses down. He looks at my books only, "Leah, you forgot the Encyclopedia." I then thumbled through my books to see what he was talking about."I am sorry, I did not realize. Well I'll return it next time." He then faces his head down in his writings, and chuckles at my forgetfulness.
We then begin to start studying.
It was three days before the finals. We almost finished organizing all our equations, then I feel his face. He is looking at how I write. My mind is going wild at his stare. I then take my free hand that lays on my thigh. I move it across my outer knee to the empty space between us. It was on his leg. He then looked back t his work. He knew I had my hand somewhere where it was not supposed to be. He just ignored the fact. Played dumb. I then felt it. I felt his hand on fingers wrap gently and slowly on my thigh. He then massaged in circular motions. Like rocking my leg to sleep. His hands were so gentle on my leg. I felt my whole body on that side go numb. I was so focused on his hand, that I was looking at the book in front of me, but had no idea what the words spelled out.
We stayed like this for an hour. We even talked to one another like we did not even know what we were doing. Like our hands were another part, and they had there own brain.
It was getting late and he nudged his hand away, as so did I. We pulled in our seats, and he got his stuff together on the table. I noticed he was ignoring me now. He then said in no tone, "I'll see you sometime Leah." Like he was going to be gone for a long time. I was going to ask what was wrong. But I was hesitant. He had already left. With no clue as to what was wrong. I knew though, I had Mike still.

It was the night before the test and I was in my room studying like a mad rabbit. I was more like studying on explanations why he won't answer his phone. Why he won't talk to me anymore. I am trying to stay focus but it is hard...when you feel something nagging at you.

Then all of a sudden there is a gentle knock at my door. It was like a mouse knocking. I got up, then it stopped. So I stood there. Waiting to see if it would knock again. Nothing. So I walk towards the door. I twist the knob slowly, and it was nobody. I look out and peer left..nobody. I peer right, and it was him walking down the steps. I cry out in soft loud tone, "Brandon!"
He turns around with his hands coming out of his pockets. He says, "I just thought I would stop by." I tell him he should come inside. He then softly and assuredly says, "Okay, sounds good."

When we got inside the dorm room, it was silent. He said not one word. I then move closer to him on the bed. I then grab his hand. He asks if I had been studying. Under my lips, "Yes, I have been a lot." He then grabs my hand tighter. I softy say, "I needed your help though." He leans closer to my legs. He then turns his head towards mine. He says, "I am sure." He picks up the book and nudges it to the end of the bed. He then looks towards my eyes. I then looked straight in his eyes, the green turned dark faded brown. He pushed closer to the middle of my body. He then placed his hand near the side of me on the bed. It made creak as his hand pushed in to the bed mattress. He looked at my hair on the sides of my face falling down in my eyes. He then folded them back behind my ears. He took his nose and placed it near mine. With my eyes slightly open, I could see his eyes were closed. Our noses and faces were in enlightenment with each other. He put both legs over my body on each side. He then pulled his elbows down touching the bed. Then he placed his hands on my face. He felt my back cheeks like they were water. Feeling them gently, dipping in and out the soft textures. He then leaned closer, as his nose came off mine. His lips, full lips, touched. His teeth came in contact with my lips. His tongue fell though, as he felt his way around, looking for a key or something. Keeping such gentle sharp movements. His hands came off my face and made there way to the front of me. He knew what he was doing. There was no questioning him. He unbuttoned everything so erotically. Then my body gravitated to him like a magnet. He lifted back, all the while his tongue discovering me. He pulled in forward on my nude canvas. I layered out his clothes and discovered the body he had, he was a work of art. His whole chest etched in perfection. His clothes were hiding it. My whole emotions ever, never, felt, were felt at that moment. With sweat and passion. A thing worth dying for. True love.

The door thundered. It thundered like never before. Then it belittled open. Like it was just a limp piece of drift wood. It hit the wall as it flung open, "Leah...why...why...WHY!"
I knew I heard something at the door before, as all our passion was discovered. I knew something was there. I just thought nothing. "Mike, I....I ...I can explain."
"I thought you loved me Leah? I though you cared for me?" He was acting uncontrollable. Then I noticed between the madness of his slurs, his gripped tirent that he had in his hand. "Hey Mike,"Brandon shakily said."She loves you, but love fades sometimes." He rammed up with his face even more furious then before, and he tells Brandon to stand up. "I want you little fucker to stand UP!" He stands with blankness about him. I scream out, "Mike please, no...please...please." He looks at me stubbornly, "No Leah, he has to go. "
I hear the gears in his gun lock up, then my feet fumble, and my hands shake off the bed. I get up as fast as I ever could. Making my feet place in front of Brandons.

Then silence took the madness.


I never thought I would fall in love with someone. I never thought I would die for that someone.